Inviting your Negative Emotions

Okay so this one is gonna be bittersweet, poignant, weird feelings.  At least that's how it hits me when I think about it initially.  [edit: this is personal.  If you feel invasive reading about my emotional life, you can ignore.  I'm guessing it's pretty normal though, really, so if you want some hard-earned wisdom to grow or reflect on yours... read on : ) 

Let's just start with the idea of "positive" and "negative" emotions.  I've had some therapy from professionals using info from pop psychology self-help books.  They say there is something like a pyramid of emotions, negative on the bottom, positive on the top.  

Naturally someone might dwell, brood, languish on the bottom with little to no motivation. 

...with boredom, sadness, grief, defeat, despair.

What anyone would want, as a super-natural human being... is to climb, rise, ascend to the top.  Where the positive emotions are.

Fun!  Excitement!  Joy!  Connection / Unity.

Performance.  Ability.  Success.  *Sharing*

I'm here to tell anyone who is following me, out loud or otherwise (it's all good!  & you know who you are) the truth about this pyramid of emotions, and the thoughts & experiences that accompany them.

The way to the positive emotions IS straight THROUGH the other ones.  The negative ones.  The hard to name and even harder to feel negative emotions.  

Listen Aaron, and everyone: you can't wish away the difficult feelings.  They are not wrong.  Neither are you for feeling them.  I know that it's hard to address them without a reservoir of positivity to firefight them with.  But look: you don't always have that available, do you?

So your best friend is your mind, in these situations.  Self-talk is powerful, and interpretation is powerful.  Disclaimer: it won't change how you feel.  It will not!  Certainly not right away.  Again, when negative emotions arise, and push you down, you have to go through that sh*t.

If there's one good secret weapon, so simple really, it's to know that there is still good in you, around you, or on the other side.  And you are strong, resilient, and capable of hope.  (Hope doesn't always feel wonderful and perfect the way it sounds like it should.  Sometimes hope is literally just the pervading belief that there IS good, even though you're not feeling it right now.)

***to all concerned: I'm actually doing quite well at the moment.  I wanted to share this open-journal entry for the public and for me, for one 'cuz that way I'm more likely to believe it and use it as a resource when I need it.  ("my words" are most familiar to me so this could actually really work!)

So the step by step guide goes like this:

1. Allow the negativity to exist.  Open up to it and... let it hurt you!  Ouch.  It's going to.  It has to.  It has its reasons.

2.  Recognize that it hurts, it's unpleasant at best.  There's nothing you can do to change that.

3.  Use your mind anyways.  Self-talk, interpretation, hope.  They won't change the way you feel.  But they will allow you to persist until something or someone real DOES.  Change.  You and your feelings.

And... 

4. Don't let rampant positivity get the best of you.

Be careful.  Just because it's easy and good right now, doesn't mean it always will be.  Be kind to all versions of yourself, all possible future selves.

   ***

This is related to a more general way of being in the world that I'd like to share.  Especially for those who have made it this far!  Lol.

You ever notice how we're constantly catering to our experiences like everything has to be perfect all the time?  Social media is a prime example.  Most of us seem to only share the best and brightest selfies.  The compositions that make it seem like the world exists according to some grand intelligent design.

I would like to proffer the notion that imperfection is actually, itself quite perfect.  (Kinda like those so-called "bad emotions")  It goes like this: no matter what temporary condition you are in... bad haircut, sunken face, wrong framing... haha omg come on.  You are perfect!  Strangely, it is often the beautiful imperfections that stand-out from the blind consistencies of what we think perfect is supposed to be.

And just to get metaphysical for a minute.  I believe that it is a consistent illusion of limited perception.  (Why for all the good self-talk.)

The mere miracle is that whether or not we perceive or even feel it: life is quite perfect beyond the barriers, the distractions, the confusions of scale, depth, missed intentions or just seeing something from *some other angle* than ultimate truth.

'Cuz really.  No one has the rights to ultimate truth.  So best advice in just about any situation is to be aware of the limitations of awareness, and keep looking.  OR... find a way to enjoy the temporary illusion, somehow knowing that it is perfect inside, at a distance, all along.

Thanks for reading!  Bye for now!