Open Letter to Lydia (Happy New Years 2020)

We decided that if you do it twice, it’s a thing.  If you do it three times, it’s a tradition.  This is neither.  I have never done this before.  But don’t we all write the Christmas letter?  Don’t we all respect a New Year’s post?  One to reflect on the year passed, another setting those intentions.  Maybe I’m the only one who feels like they really need to do this.  But when have I ever cared what people think?  (Don’t answer that it’s rhetorical)

*** Open Letter to Lydia ***

Dear Ms. Lydia, ma’am,

I hope this old-fashioned letter, sans envelope, stationary, wax monogram seal, and a stamp with a tree frog on it; I hope this letter finds you well.  It is a leap of faith to do something you haven’t done before.  This year I reconnected with my BFF, walked dogs for the Rover app (it’s Uber for pet services!), took a comic book making class at Community College, went to Costa Rica with my family, lost 20 lbs mostly from walking 5-10 miles a day, started a blog “Run-On Sentience”, played a jam band’s ransom in endless guitar sessions, and wrote and recorded a solo E.P. called “...And Turn”

To everything, and everyone, there is a season.  I’ve been living in the PNW for 2+ years now.  It is a welcome change.  To let the cat peek out of the bag, so to speak, I moved from a decade in Southern and Central California for a change of pace, a change of scenery, and to escape the rampant threat of wildfires.  No sooner was I soaking up the fog and rain in Oregon than California had the hottest, driest year on record.  I don’t have that on authority... I just know.  And my old hometown caught on fire (the Thomas Fire).  So I’m glad to have moved, and I’m reminded of that safety up North when I start to feel the autumn and the winter getting cold, dark, wet, and on the outside, inhospitable.  But it just means I need to try harder.  Cuz on the inside it’s warm and cozy.  There’s a crackling fire on the big screen, there’s chill beats playing, the tea is on, the cookies are fresh from the toaster oven, and when all of that gets boring, it’s really not too cold to take a brisk refreshing walk.  Maybe with a borrowed dog companion 💩💲

I haven’t made a lot of friends yet, in this city.  But I feel at home all the same.  Major development though: two of my bestest pals from SLO are moving up later this year.  John Crockett, fricken the third or fourth major John or Jon in my life - not the least!  Apples and oranges, to be sure.  Apples and pomegranates and ventriloquists.  John grew up in NorCal, so in a way moving to the forest-friendly hiptropolis of Portland is like returning home for him.  Caitlin is a little more anxious, so we will have to do our best to soften her landing and surroundings there with good things.  Wishing her many Jonnns...

My close friend and mentor Jeannine was going to be moving up, and might still if I wait one more year.  Her daughter is tied to her schoolfriends in their NorCal mountain town.  Ugggh.

What I’m saying, Lydia, is that I have trouble making and keeping friends.  That’s why the old ones are so important.  Some of it is simple ego-death.  I used to not think I was worthy.  So I would give up even on the people who worked so hard to connect with me.

No more.  Remember how I said I reconnected with my BFF (Jon.  And his wife Sandra.  They live in Sacramento) ...Well.  That was more than a symbol.  It was a necessary precedent for my future goals.  My goal.  I’m going to keep it simple and just set one.  To make and keep friendships.  Plural.  I always prided myself in fierce loyalty to close friends.  But I was lucky.  I had and continue to have some really good friends.  But it takes two.  I need to hold up my end.  In some capacity.  That doesn’t at all mean I can’t be myself.  Quite the contrary.  A good friend is a true individual.  We share the mutual acceptance and encouragement of one another’s special strengths.

We meet in the middle.

Okay one more goal.  I want to visit California at least once in the next year.  I have friends there.  It’s expensive to travel and takes a bit of willpower to organize and set aside time for, and plan meetings.  But it’s so worth it.  Willpower.  Plans.  Leaps of faith.  Ya know, *just* outside your comfort zone changes all of the time, plans change, opportunities arise when baby steps lead the way.  ..step step step..

Thank you Lydia for taking this bold “opportunity” to be my letter muse.  Perhaps when I visit Sacramento we could get together and write some songs.  Or jam.  I tend to just jam.........

Happy New Year,

Good words.

~ Aaron ~